Letters
by LadyMris
Summary: Ziva writes a desperate letter to Tony. This is a companion piece to my story Secret Santa. TIVA.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hello all! Here we have the companion piece to Secret Santa. This will be a short but angsty story so be forewarned! Please do leave feedback as it fuels my little writing fingers :). **

**Disclaimer: The evil empire owns NCIS. **

* * *

**Early January**

_Tony,_

_This letter is very difficult for me to write. I had thought I would never see or speak with you again but things have changed. _

_I am afraid to communicate with you in any other manner. I fear phone or computer communications are being monitored and the last thing I want to do is put you in danger. Yes, danger. I am involved in a mission and I have been since the attempt on my life at the farmhouse. I did not want to tell you because I knew you would not leave me if I did. _

_I lied to you because I wanted you safe. I pushed you away and told you I needed to do this alone to keep you and the others safe. _

_I hope you can forgive me. _

_I wanted to protect you and the team from the sins of my family. You were in danger because of me. Because of my family. I decided to stay away from all of you...from you to keep these men away. It was such a hard decision. I did not want to let you go. _

_The nights we spent together nearly broke me, they nearly shattered every bit of my resolve. But my desire to keep you away from this ugliness was stronger. I truly just want you to be safe and happy and that meant letting you go, lying to you. The one truth I told was that I was the center of all this death and I did not want you caught in that wake. _

_I have been working to stop these men but I am unable to continue now. _

_Tony, our time together in Israel, it...it produced a child. I am pregnant. And I am afraid, afraid for our baby. I need you and I am asking for your help. Even if you cannot forgive me I ask that you please help me for the baby's sake. Plans need to be made. I need to know that she will have a safe home to go to. Please contact me. _

_Use a burn phone and call the number below, please. _

_Forgive me,_

_Ziva_

Ziva wiped the tears from her cheeks before carefully folding her letter and placing it in an envelope. She addressed the letter to Tony at NCIS and whispered a prayer that he'd call soon.

Standing from the desk, Ziva glanced around the small apartment in Turkey. She'd rented it only a few days ago and was still nervous they'd find her here. Both Parsa and SecNav would be looking but she would not risk her unborn child. The mission had moved from the prep stage to active when Parsa's men contacted her and she passed their tests. She was so close to making direct contact with Parsa when she realized she was pregnant. If she had known when she visited Tony in the hospital she would never have left.

It had been the last thing on her mind, a baby. She'd been completely focused on stopping Parsa, on stopping any threat that could affect Tony or the team. She knew she would probably die in this effort but a small part of her wished she'd live through it and return to Tony. Now, with the baby, she wasn't sure what was going to happen.

SecNav would want her to continue the mission at any cost and to a degree Ziva agreed. Parsa had to be stopped but she couldn't do it at the expense of her child's life. Ziva had made it look like she'd been lost in Jordan. Both Parsa and SecNav could assume she was taken hostage or something happened to her among the hundreds of thousands refugees pouring in from Syria. The gambit would buy her time if nothing else; with luck enough time to have her baby.

She needed Tony, needed him to help her through this pregnancy which was already classified as high risk by the doctor she'd seen. She needed him to provide a home for the baby if she had to hunt Parsa after the birth. She needed to know he'd be there for her because she never felt so vulnerable in her life and the only balm for her nerves was Tony's arms.

"Please, mon petit pois, call soon," she whispered as she took the letter and left to mail it.


	2. Chapter 2

**February**

_Tony,_

_It has been nearly a month since I sent my letter and I have not heard from you. I keep the phone by me at all times but it has not rung. I hope you received it. We have much to discuss. _

_I understand that this is all difficult to consume. And I know you probably cannot forgive me but would you please contact me so that we can talk? At the very least we should talk about the baby. _

_I am heading to South America in the next few days and will be staying with Monique. If you cannot reach the number please keep trying as I will be traveling. Things were I am have been...challenging. But I am all right and so is the baby. I am now four months pregnant and I saw a sonogram. It was amazing. I could see her hands forming. She is so beautiful. _

_I know you must be angry with me and afraid to take responsibility for a child but she is your child and she deserves a chance. _

_Tony, I know I have asked much of you and you have done alot for me over the years but I must ask this; even if I do not deserve it the baby does. I know you are a good man and even if you are afraid of having a child I know you could not abandon her. Please, just contact me? _

_The number is below._

_Ziva_

Ziva clutched the phone to her chest for a moment before slipping it into her pocket along with the letter. She'd mail it on her way to the train station. Ziva glanced out the window before returning to her packing. As she bent over the suitcase she brought her hand to her throat. She could feel the heat of her skin as the bruise on her throat darkened.

She'd been spotted by Parsa's men and nearly lost her life in the market square a few days ago. It was a miracle she'd managed to escape them mostly unharmed. The bruises on her arms and neck could attest to it not being a completely effortless escape.

Her heart still raced from the fear and adrenaline that coursed through her days ago. When she saw them she knew...she just knew they had been looking for her. That meant that they did not buy her cover...that they scoured the camps in Jordan and realized she was never there. Now they knew undoubtedly that she was not with them. Parsa would take this as a personal offense after giving her the chance to prove herself. He wouldn't stop hunting her until she was dead.

Monique had answered her letter and it had come as such a relief; she had a place to go where she would not be completely alone. She planned to take the train to Rome then a bus to Milan where she would board another train to Paris. Paris was a good airport for her. She knew where the important cameras were and had a contact inside airport security who could move her to her gate effortlessly. With luck, she would make it to Rio in a couple of days and then get a car and drive to Monique in San Paulo. Maybe there she could rest and hopefully Tony would call.

Ziva needed to hear his voice, to know that he did not hate her and that he wanted this baby. But she had to admit as the days slipped by without a call she was starting to believe he could not forgive her and he did not want this child. She couldn't blame him; she'd hurt him enough.

But without him what did she have? Who did she have for the baby?

"No," she muttered to herself, "he will call."

* * *

**Author's Note: I know these chapters are short - I did say it was a short story :). The way I am writing this is simply in glimpses of what is transpiring. I wish I had time to really flesh it out more but I think this works. Hope you guys enjoy it. There are a number of glimpses yet to come. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: For those worried about the angst - know that it will get worse before it gets better but it will get better :). And this is a companion piece - sequel, etc - this story is part of the Secret Santa verse. **

**I'd like to congratulate Cote de Pablo on landing a role in the upcoming Medavoy produced movie - great company she is in! **

* * *

**Late February**

_Tony,_

_I am in San Paulo with Monique now. It was not an easy trip. It is possible that I was spotted in Rio but I do not believe I was followed to San Paulo. I hope I did not miss your call? _

_I do not know what to think anymore. Are you so angry with me that you no longer care? Or is your silence my answer? _

_If you cannot forgive me please do not hold it against our child. I will take care of myself and not ask you to put yourself or anyone in danger but I need help once the baby is born. If I... if the baby is left alone would you not want to have her? Would you provide a home for her?_

_I wonder if you have received my earlier letters. If you have not; if this is the first then now you know I am pregnant from our time in the grove house. I pushed you away because I was working a mission that involves my family and Parsa. This is new information, I did not tell you in my previous letters what I was working on. _

_Parsa and his group are after me now because they know I have betrayed them. I stopped my mission when I discovered I was pregnant and ran. Parsa worked with Ari that is why I sent you that picture...that is why I knew I had to protect you, all of you. You should not have been held to account for my family's sins. _

_When Ari died Parsa was left without his resources. Parsa blamed us all for Ari, for the dismantling of the group then but he has since rebuilt it and stronger than Ari had. I told him, through his men, that I killed Ari not Gibbs or any of you. I was either going to make myself the target or find a way to ingratiate myself into his group. Soon I found out that he was interested in my joining him instead of killing me. But when I ran everything changed and he wants me gone. It is because of this that I need you to take the baby. _

_Please, Tony, I beg you call me. Let me know that you will take her and keep her safe? You do not need to do anything for me just for her. I will end this with Parsa but I need to know our child is safe and loved. Please, Tony._

_As always the number is below._

_Ziva_

"Cherie," Monique caught a tear with her index finger off Ziva's cheek, "you should be resting not suffering over a letter."

"Maybe he did not get my other letters," Ziva said as she glanced at the small cell phone next to her on the desk. It sat next to the key Tony had given her for Christmas. "This will explain everything he needs to know."

"Good," Monique set down a glass of water for Ziva. "We will mail it in the morning but today you rest. Ziva, the doctor said you should stay off your feet as much as possible. He was very worried with your test results."

"I am fine, Monique," Ziva carefully folded the letter and slipped into a pale blue envelope.

"You always say that but you need to understand you are not an _I_ right now you are a _we_ and the little thing in you needs her rest," Monique shot Ziva that worried mother look she'd first seen on their very first mission together.

Ziva knew that Monique had been stunned by Ziva's youth on that mission and had felt this motherly protective instinct kick in. That all felt like such a lifetime ago now.

"All right," Ziva grabbed the phone and the key before standing. "I will rest now but first thing in the morning-"

"We will mail the letter. I promise," Monique smiled.

Monique helped her to the guest bedroom in her apartment. Ziva didn't shrug away from Monique because lately she'd been dizzy on too many occasions. She'd fainted once that she realized and tried to up her intake of protein. It was all stress, it had to be. How many expectant mothers were running from terrorists with a personal vendetta against them? Ziva shook her head at the thought and hugged Monique before lying down.

"Thank you," she said as Monique left the room.

Ziva put the key down on the nightstand and made sure the cell's volume was on max before placing it next to the key. "Tony will call soon..." she muttered before closing her eyes.

Sunlight streamed in through the blinds and blinded Ziva. She heard a voice in the distance calling her name then realized someone was shaking her. It took several long moments to clear her head but when she was able to focus Ziva saw Monique over her and began to sit up.

"What is wrong?" Ziva asked with a raspy voice.

"Ziva!" Monique exclaimed. "You are on the floor. I found you this way...what happened?"

Ziva looked around and realized she was sitting on the rug next to the bed, "I do not know perhaps I had a nightmare and fell?"

"Why didn't you wake?" Monique asked as she helped Ziva up to the bed. "Ziva I am so worried."

Ziva took a deep breath and took account of her body, of the baby, "I seem to be fine. I am not in pain."

As they sat on the bed Ziva heard Monique's sigh of relief, "Do you think this was really a nightmare?"

"It must have been," Ziva answered as she rubbed her baby bump, "I have had violent ones before. You have too, Monique, you have told me so."

"Yes," Monique nodded, "but I was never pregnant during one. Perhaps we should visit the doctor?"

"I feel fine," Ziva stated. "I think everything is all right. If I feel any problems then I promise we will go to him right away but my next appointment is in a week. I think I'll be fine until then. Do not worry."

Monique squeezed Ziva's hand, "OK. Come I have breakfast ready then we will go and mail your letter," she said as she handed the letter to Ziva.

"I will freshen up and be right there," Ziva smiled as Monique left. She pulled the letter out of the envelope and read it one more time. He would answer this...he had to.


	4. Chapter 4

**Mid-March**

_Tony,_

_I am now five and a half months pregnant. I am still with Monique, she has been wonderful to me. My pregnancy is not very easy but I am handling it._

_I do not know what to think since you have not called. I have thought of calling you directly but I am still afraid that your phones are being monitored and that would put both you and Monique in danger. But more...I am afraid you would not want to speak with me._

_I do not understand this, Tony, one of my letters must have reached you. I can only conclude that you do not want to be a father. I understand the reasons you have._

_This will be my last letter to you. I was going to write Gibbs but I do not want to put you in a tough situation. I do not want him to force you to take this responsibility. And I am not sure Gibbs would want to help me after I lied. I think Tim would help me but I will not ask. He does not need to know you do not want the child._

_I am not sure what will happen. Monique cannot take her but I shall try to always let Monique know where the baby is. If one day you are curious Monique will know._

_I am including the key you gave me for Christmas with this letter. I understand how things have changed and I know that it does not belong to me._

_I am sorry, Tony. I am sorry that I made the decisions I did. I wish I could go back and change things but I cannot. Now, I have other priorities._

_I wish you well, Tony._

_Goodbye,_

_Ziva_

"Ziva," Monique sat next to Ziva and took the pale blue envelope from her hands, "Don't send this one. Let me call him, let me find out what is going on with him from his own mouth."

"No," Ziva wiped her tears away on her sleeve. "We both know that his calls are probably compromised and if anyone listening realizes who you are they will put two and two together and we will be exposed here. If Parsa is not listening then SecNav is listening...it is too dangerous."

"Ziva, the man I met," Monique leaned forward, "he was so in love with you. I saw it in everything about him, in the way he looked at you, the way he stood near you, in the way he spoke of you. That man would not abandon you and the baby you created together. There must be another explanation. I have said it before but I think it bears repeating today. What if he is injured? What if he has been out of the country on assignment? What if he has been traveling looking for you the way you told me he searched for you for months?"

"He is in DC and he is fine," Ziva answered. "I found out last night that is why I have written this letter."

"How do you know this?" Monique asked.

"I saw an article in the Washington Herald online that mentioned NCIS solving a case and I saw his picture. It was dated two days ago," Ziva lowered her eyes as a tear slipped out. "One of the letters would have had to have reached him by now."

Monique sat back and Ziva noticed that look of sympathy before she noticed a small nod from her friend.

"We can hide," Monique insisted. "We have so much skill between us there is no way anyone will find us and we can keep that little one safe and happy."

"Monique, I know you cannot do that-" Ziva started.

"Yes, I can," Monique nodded. "Vengeance is not worth losing the lives of two people I love. I saw myself in you from the beginning. You are like my own daughter and I would love to know what it would be like to be Aunt Monique. I am entirely too young to be a grandmother, Ziva."

Ziva's eyes widened. This was the last thing she expected Monique to say. Monique had been seeking vengeance for years for the death of her team, of her lover. It was only in these weeks that Ziva was told the story. Monique had to tell her the truth and the reason why she couldn't take the baby. But what was she saying now? Was she giving up her hunt? For her and the baby?

"I...I cannot ask this of you," Ziva cried.

"You did not ask," Monique stated. "I offered and I am not taking no for an answer."

"Have I become so pathetic?" Ziva asked through a teary chuckle.

"Yes," Monique answered with a smile. "And you have given me something beautiful to look forward to."

"I should not accept," Ziva swallowed hard. "But I will...thank you."

"We will have to plan this carefully," Monique stated. "Go somewhere where the doctors are capable."

"The seizure frightened you," Ziva placed her hand on her belly.

"Hell, yes it did," Monique patted the hand Ziva held over her belly. "That little one is not going to be unnoticed."

"No, she is not," Ziva smiled then took the envelope from Monique. "I think it is time to move on."

Monique nodded, "I'll change and we can lunch at that cafe you like so much."

"Perfect," Ziva kissed Monique's cheek then went to her room. Out of habit she took the cell she wished Tony would call on, the slim black burn cell, from her pocket and slipped it into the neckpouch she usually carried it in when they went out. Her passport, cell and a prepaid credit card lived in that neckpouch with a hidden short knife. Old habits diehard indeed.

Ziva tightened the drawstring on her khaki cargo pants. The doctor had told her she was underweight and likely had a pregnancy related illness called preeclampsia. Apparently it had caused the seizure she suffered a few days ago. It had scared her half to death and left her confused for many hours. She wasn't going to lie to herself; she was scared, very scared. She was dizzy more hours of the day than not and she often fell asleep with horrible headaches. But the seizure was the worst of it and the confusion that followed. Being caught in a dangerous situation and unable to defend herself or the baby had her freaked out as Tony would say. Tony... no she could not think of him now. She had to move on. She did feel guilty accepting Monique's offer but she was also relieved; relieved she would not be alone through all of this.

"Ready?" Monique called out.

"Yeah be right there," Ziva grabbed her cross-body canvas satchel. It was her go bag and she never went anywhere without it. One thing the spy game taught her...and Gibbs was to be prepared.

Gibbs...she had wanted to contact him so many times. She wanted to ask him to save her again. But she had no right not after she lied to him...again. She should have told him that her father ordered her to kill Ari. She should never have concealed that from him but she was so used to concealing things and she truly believed it was not a lie but an omission. She had not gone to kill Ari but to save him. When she pulled that trigger it was because of what she heard - of what she learned of Ari. Did Gibbs every truly trust her again after finding out she lied about her mission? She wasn't sure and she knew now she had no right to ask him for anything.

Eli and Ari shaped her life long ago. Now she just had to live it out and try and carve a haven for her daughter.


	5. Chapter 5

_Agent DiNozzo,_

_Bastard. How could you abandon Ziva? These are not the actions of the man I met in Columbia; not the actions of the man who told me he couldn't do this without her. _

_Why? Why have you not contacted Ziva? She is having your child! How can you leave a pregnant woman - a sick pregnant woman alone like this? _

_Ziva is ill. Her pregnancy is dangerous. She has had seizures and high blood pressure. She could die from the pregnancy alone not to mention the men after her. You are an agent of your government and you should have the resources to protect her at least until the child is born. That is the least you can offer Ziva. _

_I shall do my best to protect her and see this child into the world. If it is true what Ziva says and you simply do not want to be a father; you can at least be an honorable man! Contact her - offer her protection. Simply call her and put her mind at ease. She needs to hear your voice._

_Lisson_

* * *

Ziva posted her last letter to Tony at NCIS then her eyes widened in surprise as she noticed Monique post a letter to Tony too, "What is that?"

"I need to have my say to Tony as well, Ziva," Monique smiled and handed the letter over to the postman.

Ziva leaned her forehead on Monique's shoulder for a moment then pulled back, "You are a good friend."

They walked out of the post office, Monique's arm around Ziva's waist in a semi-hug, and headed for the cafe. It was a bright, beautiful day and Ziva was not feeling dizzy. That was a plus in her book after all these days spinning like a toy top. Knowing Monique would help her eased her stress. She wasn't alone and that meant so much.

"There is a shop a few blocks from here," Monique said as she stabbed some pasta with her fork. "A woman at the grocer told me they have casual maternity wear. I think it is time we get you something more to slip into beyond those two pairs of cargo pants, Ziva."

"I hope it is better than that one we went to last week," Ziva sipped her iced tea, "the entire shop seemed to stock pink polka dot moo moos or ultra mini, skin tight dresses, if you can call them dresses, that show every single baby kick!"

"It's Brazil," Monique smiled, "one extreme or another."

"Yes," Ziva set her fork down, "it is always one extreme or another."

Monique called over the waiter and paid for the check in cash. "You were telling me of your friend, Abby was it? And her unique style?"

"Yes she is," Ziva rose with Monique from the table, "not-quite-a-goth? I have seen her in frilly things and she wears pigtails all the time. I wonder what she would wear pregnant..."

"Maybe an oversized black T-shirt with skulls?" Monique offered.

"Yes," Ziva nodded, as they headed down the street. "But I think the Skull would then have a baby skull next to it. Probably sucking on a pacifier."

"Oh," Monique cringed. "What would the baby clothes look like?"

Ziva turned to Monique and laughed, "They would be very...Abby."

"You miss them alot don't you?" Monique held onto Ziva's arm as they came up to a busy intersection.

"Yes," Ziva half-smiled. "I do. I have missed them for a long time now. That was the best part of my life. I felt like I was part of a family that was about more than using each other."

"I still think that there is a very good reason Tony has not-" Monique's sentence was interrupted by a gunshot.

A bicycle rider passed in front of them and collapsed to the ground. A pool of blood started to surround him. Ziva turned and saw two men exit a car on the far side of the street, guns in hand.

"We need to go!" Monique ordered.

Ziva grabbed Monique's hand and started down the street. People screamed as the men raised their guns and Ziva noticed a crowd up ahead - they could get lost among the throng.

As they made a run for the crowd additional gunshots rang out and Ziva's steps were halted when she felt Monique release her grip. When Ziva turned she saw Monique fall to the ground; a shot had pierced her chest.

Ziva crouched down and grabbed Monique's arm, trying to get her up, pulling Monique's arm around her shoulder. "Oh God, please," Ziva dragged Monique into the crowd and pressed her left hand into the wound. "There is a taxi there," Ziva exclaimed, "we will get to the hospital quickly."

"Run, Ziva," Monique ground out as her body fell limp.

Ziva looked up and saw the crowd parting as the men grew closer. "Monique, please. HELP!" she screamed at the crowd who backed away.

Sirens sounded in the background but she knew they would not get here in time. "I am sorry, Monique."

Ziva glanced around then pulled a bystander close, "_Get her to a hospital!"_ she shouted in Portuguese before taking off into the crowd. She pushed some people and caused a commotion in order to slip through. Ziva stopped inside a narrow alleyway and turned back. She climbed up on several crates just inside the alleyway, no one paying her further attention as everyone pointed their cell phones at the assailants.

Ziva pulled her gun, aimed and killed each man with one shot each. In a blink, she vanished from the alleyway.

* * *

**Author's note: Tony is next :). **

**Also; this story may get tougher before it gets better. I think the events in Ziva's life as I have portrayed them will affect her deeply and I intend to write through some of that. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Early April**

**NCIS Internal Email**

_Fred,_

_I know it was you. I am willing to overlook this rerouting of my personal property if said personal property is returned in a timely manner. We do not want such things to escalate out of control and..._

* * *

"Tony," McGee said as his face popped up over Tony's shoulder, "why are you writing a threatening email to Fred?"

"You need squeakier shoes, McGoo," Tony craned his head up to look at McGee, "but if you must know my greater investigative skills have narrowed the suspect pool down to Fred and Emma at the Foreign Desk."

"Suspect pool?" McGee asked as he returned to his own seat.

"Yes," Tony swiveled to face Tim, "my GSM issues are missing and before you protest innocence. I know you are innocent; I already rummaged through your desk."

"GSM?" McGee groaned. "Tony, do you ever...just once in a while read the interoffice memos?"

"No, why?" Tony narrowed his eyes at McGee, "there is never anything useful in them except comments on dress code which I clearly exceed and parking regulations which do not apply to me."

"Ok," McGee rolled his eyes, "why Emma?"

"She actually likes the articles," Tony replied and ignored the stab in his chest the response produced in him. He'd learned this tidbit about Emma from overhearing her tell Ziva.

"I see," McGee ignored Tony and started typing on his keyboard.

"So what is the big mystery?" Tony asked. "Was there an interoffice memo saying they were going to confiscate slightly inappropriate but completely paid for magazine subscriptions? You know it was a secret Santa gift I think that should mean my GSM's are an exception!"

"Due to the increased threat level from our Parsa investigations and the fact that we were once subjected to oh...the _pneumonic plague_ via an unmarked letter all NCIS non-essential mail, mail from unknown origin or mail from overseas is being held at a clearing facility on the other side of the Navy Yard. But the mail is backlogged because they couldn't get the irradiation equipment to work properly, only the Foreign desks are being given priority. Of course no one asked me or Abby to look at anything so I believe they have a few months of backlogged mail they are just starting to process. I have a pretty good feeling your GSM issues are among the backlog, Tony. Just be patient at this rate you will have January's issue by July."

"Oh, no!" Tony stood and walked towards McGee. "We have to go free the mail! It's not right that mail needs to get put into the hands of its designated recipients. I mean they are mocking the great traditions of the postman! What would Kevin Costner say about his? He rode through apocalypse ravaged lands to make sure the mail was delivered! You must help me; we must free the mail from the possessive hands of the Man. The Man must always be bucked to maintain our freedoms, McGee, always."

"Yes, Tony, to maintain your right to ogle scantily clad women," McGee glanced sideways at Tony.

"Hey," Tony put his hand on McGee's shoulder, "I'll let you read the articles."

"I wouldn't mind _freeing the mail_, Tony but only Abby can sign off on removing anything from the processing center. We'll have to ask her," McGee said just as Tony grabbed his arm.

"Then let us ask our intrepid forensic friend and free the mail!" Tony exclaimed as he dragged McGee to the elevator.

"I asked her already, Tony," McGee said as he followed Tony to the elevator, "I wanted my copies of Wired but she said she was too busy."

"The case is over and we don't have a new one right now," Tony nodded, "you have to know when to strike."

"I know," McGee stated as he entered the elevator with Tony, "I've just been distracted. Delilah is on this independent kick. She thinks since she had a few weeks in wheelchair 101 she can do absolutely everything on her own and she isn't even used to the new space yet."

"How is the new apartment going for you two?" Tony leaned on the elevators rail, "I mean first time living full time with a girlfriend for you...you handling it all OK?"

"Actually," McGee grinned, "I am. I never thought our relationship would move this fast but after the bombing I kind of knew I didn't want to be anywhere else. My only concern is that she is pushing herself too hard."

"I can understand that," Tony nodded, "the women in our lives have always been feisty."

"Oh yeah," McGee laughed, "Abby would have already rigged a cyberSkeletal wheelchair with rocket attachment and Ziva would probably drive a wheelchair like she drove a car or escape confinement using only a spork...oh, Tony, sorry. She just popped into my head."

"Don't be sorry, Probie," Tony half-smiled as the elevator dinged and the doors opened, "I miss her too."

"I haven't asked you in awhile," McGee said as they stepped off the elevator, "any word as to what she is up to?"

"No," Tony shook his head, "I imagine she is playing Mother Teresa somewhere...well maybe Mother Teresa with a wicked right hook."

McGee patted Tony on the back then proceeded inside the lab, "Hey Abby."

"Hey guys," Abby waved from her desk chair before standing and approaching them. "What brings you to Labby?"

"We need you, Abby," Tony started, "we need you to honor the grand tradition of the postman-"

"I was waiting for this," Abby smirked and picked up a clipboard, "Missing GSM right?"

"Well..." Tony smiled innocently.

"Let's go free the mail!" Abby exclaimed as she grabbed her jacket.

* * *

**Author's Note: Delilah section was thrown in after this last episode. I couldn't help the spork. Please do feed the feedback! And Sunny... you have a long memory! LOL.**


	7. Chapter 7

**NCIS Internal Email**

_Tony,_

_Please come down to my lab immediately. _

_Abby_

Tony looked up when his email beeped and quickly read the note from Abby, "Hmm."

"What?" McGee glanced over to Tony.

"Note from Abby shorter than normal," Tony rose from his seat. "I've been summoned _immediately_."

"Maybe she wants to show off your newly irradiated GSM issues," McGee grinned and rose. "I'd like to see them myself and find out if she did my stuff already."

"Then let us visit Ms. Scuito," Tony led McGee to the elevator and down to the lab floor.

As Tony entered the lab he saw Abby standing behind her stainless steel table holding a few envelopes; her expression speaking volumes, "What's wrong, Abby?"

"Umm," Abby hesitated before placing the stack of envelopes she held in front of Tony, "you received some mail with very familiar handwriting."

Tony looked down at the first envelope and murmured, "Ziva."

His heart did a flip right up into his throat. He had to swallow hard to keep from choking up in front of Abby and McGee. There was proof right in front of him that she hadn't forgotten him, that she still wanted to talk to him. What he wouldn't give to hold her in his arms right now - to ease the ache that had taken up permanent residence in his heart. The cold that had chilled his bed...his arms without her to warm them.

A sudden burst of anger at the stupid new mail policy surged through him as he realized that she had been sending him letters for months and he had left her without a response.

He counted four letters from her and there was another letter with an overseas postmark with handwriting he didn't recognize. He looked at each postmark and noticed they started in January and were from Turkey, Italy, Brazil. "She has been writing me for months," Tony smiled longingly then look over at McGee and then Abby.

"Yeah," Abby smiled as her eyes glistened, "looks like she has been traveling alot."

"Do you mind if we stay while you read them, Tony?" McGee asked tentatively, "I want to know if she said hi and what she has been up to."

"I am just so glad she has been writing," Abby grinned wide, "I don't know why she didn't email but who cares she still wants to talk to us or at least you, Tony. I hope we can find her to send a note back."

"Let me look at them first but yeah you guys can stay," Tony picked up the first letter gingerly and touched her handwriting on the front. He took a deep breath and took the offered letter opener from Abby and sliced into the envelope. "This is the first letter from Turkey," he announced excitedly.

Tony started reading but soon his smile fell away:

_...I am afraid to communicate with you in any other manner... _

_... I pushed you away and told you I needed to do this alone to keep you and the others safe. _

_... The nights we spent together nearly broke me... _

_... but I am unable to continue now..._

_...Tony, our time together in Israel, it...it produced a child. I am pregnant._

"Tony," McGee startled Tony when he touched his arm, "are you ok?"

"No," Tony shoved the letter at McGee and made a grab for his cell.

Surprised, McGee took and read it quickly as Tony started punching the numbers into his phone. "Oh my God."

"Pick up, pick up...PICK UP!" Tony screamed into his phone as it rang over and over. Desperation wrapped around him like a boa snake constricting his breathing.

"Check the number again," McGee set the letter down on the table so that Tony could get a clear view.

Tony hung up and dialed again; his hands shaking as he listened for Ziva's voice to answer; but there was nothing, no voice mail...no answer just ringing.

"What's going on?" Abby asked with a strained voice as she stared at Tony. McGee turned the letter to her. Abby read it and gasped, "Oh my God. Pregnant?"

"I thought you and Ziva might have..." McGee looked at the letter again then up at Tony.

"Why isn't she answering?!" Tony cried then turned to McGee, "I spent months searching for her when I found her it was to tell her I loved her and wanted her to come home with me." It was the most honest statement Tony had ever uttered to his friends about Ziva. "She told me she needed time to ...I don't even know what! I let her push me away why? Why didn't I stay with her!" Tony slammed his hand into Abby's door.

"Tony, you couldn't make her stay with you...we just need to find her now," McGee grabbed his arm. "Try another letter. Maybe she had to ditch that phone?"

Tony nodded, set the phone on speaker and placed it on the table before slicing open the second letter.

_...And I know you probably cannot forgive me... _

_... Things were I am have been...challenging._

_... you must be angry with me and afraid to take responsibility for a child but she is your child. _

_...Please, just contact me?_

Tears stung Tony's eyes, "It's the same number. Why isn't she answering?" he asked frantically before slicing open her next letter;

_...I am in San Paulo with Monique now. It was not an easy trip._

"She made it to San Paulo," Tony looked up at his friends, "can you find Monique Lisson? Ziva is with her. If something happened to the phone or... can you find her?"

"Yeah," Abby nodded at Tony then McGee, "firing up the search program."

McGee went over to Abby and they quickly started with Interpol to see if Monique had an address with them.

Tony continued to read the letter;

_...If you cannot forgive me please do not hold it against our child._

"There is nothing to forgive, Ziva," Tony muttered as he held the letter.

_...I pushed you away because I was working a mission that involves my family and Parsa._

"This is about fu... Parsa!" Tony hated the sound of that name. He could rip the man's head off with his bare hands right now. "This whole damn thing is about Parsa," he told Abby and McGee.

"How? Is she still a target?" McGee asked.

"Parsa worked with Ari. Now that damn picture she sent me makes sense," Tony fisted his hands; his emotions overwhelming him. Anger at Parsa...at Ziva for pushing him away. Desperation to get to her...but the emotion on the surface was fear... fear he was already too late."She felt it was her problem to solve," Tony said through gritted teeth.

"Damnit, Ziva," McGee cursed as his fingers flew over the keyboard.

..._ Please, Tony, I beg you call me._

..._ You do not need to do anything for me just for her._

"Damnit, Ziva, I would do anything for you...I love you," Tony whispered to the words as if she could hear him. He then tore into her last letter and the key he sent her for Christmas fell out. The sound it made hitting the steel table reverberated through him like an electric shock. Seeing it lying there broke him as he knew what it meant:

_...I am afraid you would not want to speak with me._

..._ I do not understand this, Tony, one of my letters must have reached you..._

..._ This will be my last letter to you._

..._ I know that it does not belong to me._

The ringing through his cell's speaker stopped and Tony leaned his hands on the table. It felt like he'd lost her all over again. His body shook as tears came unbidden. As pain lanced through his body. "Ziva, where are you..."

McGee stopped what he was doing and called down to Ducky, "Can you come up to Abby's lab now, please."

"Sure, McGee, what seems to be the problem?" Ducky asked through the screen.

McGee stepped aside allowing Ducky a view of Tony, "I need you to ... Tony."

"Has something happened to Ziva?" Ducky asked as he stood.

"I don't know," McGee answered honestly then the screen went black.

* * *

**Author's note: Wrote this quickly - wanted to get it out to you guys... hope it hits the right note.**


	8. Chapter 8

Hey Gang;

First let me apologize for this not being a new chapter to Letters. However, I felt I needed to clarify or expand on something before we continued.

I received an unflattering feedback that questioned the legitimacy of the letters delay to Tony. The person went on to say the entire work was a failure and tried to educate me on pacing. I have chosen not to post this particular feedback because while I am happy to receive constructive critique and welcome it; when it is presented in a manner intended to insult I do take offense.

Now, regarding the mail delay;

I supposed that beyond the post office; NCIS and Navy Yard administration created its own sorting center for nonessential and questionable incoming mail.

This is not beyond the realm of possibility, IMO. In the early 2000s when the anthrax scare occurred the actual post office had a delay in sorting mail going to the capitol and other government officials. That early delay turned out to be weeks not months but a delay did occur. Recently, there was another anthrax scare on Capitol Hill and it was announced that mail going up to the Hill would be processed with greater scrutiny.

If you have worked with or for the US Federal government than you may know that certain policies, ideas, tasks can sometimes turn into a what is commonly referred to as a clusterF.

The Obamacare website is one such example that has taken months with hundreds of workers working furiously to fix. A perfect example I think.

In my verse; NCIS meaning Vance and Navy Yard administration choose to add an additional onsite mail processing center. The mail sorted to this center would be nonessential mail (junk mail) mail of unknown origin (no return address) and mail from overseas. Mail going to the foreign desk was given special priority due to their need to communicate with overseas contacts but mail going to regular employees was processed with everything else.

The individuals responsible for setting up this extra DOD approved system are not skilled mail handlers or scientists that understand irradiation tech but regular Navy personnel. The decision to implement this processing was taken due to the fact that NCIS is hunting an international terrorist that has targeted NCIS and the Navy specifically. The MCRT team was targeted for assassination and actual attempts were made, SecNav was assassinated, a bombing occurred at a DOD function, and in the past NCIS was targeted through the mail and an agent was infected with pneumonic plague and nearly lost his life. All of these reasons combined (in my verse) prompted administration to take additional precautions with the mail and likely with overall security at the Navy Yard - the Navy Yard having been targeted and hit once in recent memory.

With this rationale I choose to clog up the mail from Ziva to Tony in the Navy Yard processing center. Sometimes in life, small or big changes to routine can cause a great hardship - I am certain we have all experienced this.

As to pacing; it has always been my intention to draw out portions of this story to create suspense. If the reader is becoming anxious to turn the page and find out what happens next then I have done my job.

Generally speaking; I have said this before but I think it bears repeating: I do not have a beta reader, I rarely reread a chapter I have just written. What I post is the first draft and it is often filled with typos and grammar errors and even tense issues. This happens because I write these chapters relatively fast and simply do not have the time to devote hours to a fanfiction. However, I love sharing my story ideas with you all and it is fun to take you on a ride with the characters we all love! It is because of this that I hope my readers can look past the mistakes and see the greater story.

I am a Tiva shipper and I am completely unapologetic about that fact. I write Tiva fanfic and in the past I have had readers who are not Tiva shippers that have enjoyed my tales and they have been lovely people who made it clear they were not Tiva shippers but could still enjoy the story. I am thrilled they can enjoy the story for what it is with its non-perfect state and I am also happy to address any question, comment or response.

Critique is welcome when presented in a non-offensive manner. I am happy to address any critique and either explain my rationale as I have here or simply tell you this is a non-perfect work.

Fanfiction writers do this because we love to spin a tale and we love certain characters. But the creation of these works is not a quick and easy thing; it requires time and energy taken from other places in our lives in order to share a fun, angsty, thrilling, romantic ride with everyone who likes this sort of thing and these characters. Not every fanfic is for everyone and if the story is not pleasing you just move on and do not continue to read it. But writing offensive feedback to an author is in bad taste. There is a big difference between constructive critique and an outright intention to insult.

If your intention is to insult or hurt another then all I can say is that I wish that you receive the same treatment you give to others in all aspects of your life.

Mris


	9. Chapter 9

_I will stop this for him. _

"Why didn't I see it? Why didn't I question it? Why didn't I realize it," Tony muttered the questions in a quick litany as he fisted his hands. He sat in the ballistic room, the ringing through his cell's speaker a constant companion.

His mind retraced those days in Israel; recalled with perfect clarity every word she uttered...every look in her eyes. It was all there in front of him. _Damnit_, he was an investigator and he knew his Ziva was always a puzzle; why didn't he see it!

When she opened that door the surprise on her face was mixed with something else. He knew now it was fear. Fear that he had found her, fear that he would uncover her secret because sooner or later he always uncovered her secrets. He knew her...it was why he was able to find her, why she was desperate to push him away.

When he'd shut down the video conference with Gibbs and McGee she was angry with him. She questioned why he was there and she told him he should not have come. She was mad but more...she was scrambling for something to say to him.

Why didn't he see it? She'd admitted to it before...

_Have you ever lied to someone you love, Ziva?_

_Yes._

Everything was a lie mixed with half-truths he now understood. He knew Ziva and he knew she would give her life for any one of them. There'd been a tell in her eyes why didn't he understand it right there? She may have actually felt she was the center of all this death and wanted to protect the team from it; wanted to protect him. How could he have bought that damn half-truth?

For so many years everything between them was complicated. They danced like wild dervishes spinning a breath away from each other but never touching. Their comfort being that they were only five feet away from each other. His comfort was that she was ever present...ever in his sight. Until she wasn't.

Why didn't he ask? _Stop this for him..._

You don't _stop_ you _change_ when you want to alter your life. She could have written about lessons or change or regret but she didn't. She wrote the word _stop_. Why didn't he simply take it literally. If Ziva was anything she was literal," Tony thought through a strained smile.

"Ziva," he whispered, "please answer."

_I'm fighting for you, Ziva._

_I know._

She'd been holding herself firm...trying to tell him she would not return with him but she broke. _I know_, she'd repeated. They kissed in that grove and they made love for the first time inside that small house. Her demons practically a living thing there. He wanted to expel them. He wanted her to cling to him and only him. For a few days he thought maybe she'd found what she needed with him.

Then she asked him to leave.

Was it the shock that she wanted him to go? Did that cloud his understanding of her? She said she wanted to do this alone...he assumed it was to find peace and he wanted her to have that but he wanted her to have it with him.

When she asked him to go he retreated into his shell as he always did when she was out of reach. It was a hard habit to break because the only person in this world who could crack that shell was her.

Why didn't he realize it? It's screaming in his face now. She was protecting him...she was saying goodbye.

If it wasn't for the baby...the baby is going to save her life, his baby. Desperation coiled inside of him as he willed the ringing to stop and be replaced by her voice.

Tony turned and looked out the glass windows for the first time in he didn't know how long. Abby and McGee were working their magic on the computers. Ducky had left after they read Monique's letter and said something about having medications prepared. Someone had called Gibbs and Bishop. Bishop was on the phone and Gibbs reread his letters from Ziva over and over.

For a moment he wondered what Gibbs thought but the cloudiness in Gibbs' eyes was clear even from this distance. Tony didn't want to talk to Gibbs yet. This wasn't about Gibbs or his damn rules. This was him, Ziva and their baby and nothing else mattered.

McGee placed a call then handed the phone to Gibbs. Gibbs looked over at Tony as he muttered something into the receiver.

Tony grabbed his own cell and went out to the others. "What?" he demanded.

"It's Lisson," Gibbs stated. "She is in a hospital in San Paulo. She was shot."

Tony grabbed the phone from Gibbs and brought it to his ear, "Monique, where is she?"

"Where have you been, Tony?" Monique rasped.

"I didn't get her letters until today," Tony explained, "where is she?"

"I don't know," Monique answered. "We were attacked on the street. I told her to run...she took out the gunmen. She came to hospital but I wasn't awake. She left me a note. Tony, I am afraid she will do something...dangerous. Ziva is sick; her pregnancy-"

"I know," Tony swallowed hard. "What did the note say?"

* * *

**Author's note: Hey gang! First and foremost I want to thank you for all your wonderful support and I am so happy to know you guys are enjoying the story as is. **

**Yes, I know a cliff! Don't worry the next chapter starts with the note!**

**Now, the reason for my delay in posting this chapter is that it wasn't written yet and this week I have been bone tired. It had nothing to do with that idiot guy who can't even spell in his own ridiculous comments. I chose to delete those posts and will not bring them up again. **

**There were SO many fantastic comments that I am hard pressed to express my gratitude for them adequately. Just please know that I appreciate every single word you guys wrote to me. Thank you!**

**There was a comment/feedback from Alexindigo that I am going to quote here: **_**Ziva will always put everyone else's needs before her own, hence it is absolutely believable that she would go after Parsa herself (she doesn't think she's worthy enough as is with how Gibbs/Tony hv treated her in the past and now this?**_

**This is the exact assumption I work under when I portray Ziva and I wanted to single out Alexindigo for picking up on it so perfectly. **

**Also, Sunnyside; I got your little gripe :) and your question regarding why didn't Ziva send Tony a letter to his home is very valid. I did think about that and my rationale for her only sending the letters to NCIS is that I believe she would (at least subconsciously) think that maybe at NCIS if Tony either wasn't there or was needing help all he had to do was reach out for Gibbs and McGee and if he wasn't there one of them would recognize her handwriting. It's a small subconscious direction she followed. If she was thinking straight she probably would indeed have sent a letter to his apartment - hell if she was thinking straight she'd just hop a plane to DC! But part of her was afraid; afraid of putting them in danger, afraid of rejection, afraid of SecNav (though she had no reason to be; it was her uber protective self afraid SecNav would want her to continue while pregnant - a false assumption IMO). Ziva was prepared to give everything to her mission of stopping Parsa until she found out she was pregnant and instinct forced her to run and abandon everything to protect her unborn child. Ziva is on a precipice and it has caused her to make poor decisions. More on that later... :)**

**Shorter answer: Tony is always at NCIS and that is the first thing she thinks about. **

**Alternate answer: Plot device :)**

** Forever Gryffindor: If I ever write another fanfic I shall call on you to beta! Thank you!**

**Chapter Note: Just a quick OOC clarification: the line were I say "they were only five feet away from each other" refers to their desks at NCIS being only five feet apart.**

**Now, I better stop before my author's note is longer than my chapter LOL. But I do want to add that there aren't many chapters left before Tony and Ziva are reunited and the story will go past their reunion. That's all for now! Hugs!**


	10. Chapter 10

_Dear Monique:_

_Please forgive me. I stayed as long as I dared at the hospital but once I knew you would recover I chose to leave. I have decided that action must be taken. I cannot live my life or bring up this child knowing that that monster could be around any corner. I intend to end this. I will see you again if I am successful. If I do not see you again please know how grateful I am for you. _

_Thank you for so very much,_

_Ziva_

* * *

Ziva did not leave herself much time at the hospital to write that note to Monique. Once she had made up her mind to act the only thing that slowed her was waiting on news of Monique's health. She'd spent a long night at the hospital; hiding in the corridor shadows or empty rooms fearing that Parsa had sent more men to hunt her down.

She could not live a life that way and she knew undoubtedly that someday Parsa would indeed catch up to her. A mistake would be made somewhere that would lead that bastard to her doorstep or to some street she was walking on and he or his men would take her life. There was always a mistake somewhere - always a way to track someone, Tony had proven that.

What Ziva feared most was not losing her life but leaving a child alone in this world or worse that that child would die alongside her in pain. Ziva knew firsthand how cruel the world could be to children who were alone.

She could not continue to put Monique's life in danger. This was her responsibility. She had to end this now. The baby inside of her would either live or die with her; not alone. It was either going to end in success or it was simply going to end for them both.

Ziva's head pounded and she tried to take in deep breaths to calm herself. She looked out the plane's window and saw nothing but darkness. The ride from Brazil back to Turkey would take many hours and she knew she had to try and sleep...rest and store her energy for the job that waited her.

Before she could rest she needed to let go of the hope. Ziva pulled her neckpouch out from under her top and slipped the burn phone out. It was fully charged, she'd seen to that in the hospital as she waited, but she knew it would now be a liability. She dislodged the battery from the cell then slipped the two disconnected pieces back into her neckpouch. Tony calling was no longer an option and she could no longer dwell on the possibility.

Ziva had to concentrate on finding Parsa. Before she left Turkey she had discovered Parsa had established a base of operations in Istanbul. She had managed to turn the tables on the man that had choked her, managed to taunt him into revealing that Parsa was nearby before she had to kill him.

_"Where is your master?" Ziva growled. _

_"Go to him! Walk into his holy cave and receive the welcome you deserve," he'd spat._

Perhaps this mission was indeed always hers; Ziva remembered from her days with Mossad the vast collection of sealed, forgotten and thought unknown ancient areas beneath the city. They ranged from cistern rooms, to springs, churches, palaces and mosques. During her time with Mossad she'd discovered that many of these forgotten or hidden underground places were used by criminals of all sort. Ziva remembered where most of them were from the maps Mossad had created; she'd once used a forgotten cistern room to hide a transport before she could safely get them to Israel.

What that man had said had triggered something with her at the time but she was more concerned with escaping and finding a place where she and the baby would be safe...with hoping Tony would come for her.

_Holy cave_, to Parsa that would mean a mosque. Whether Parsa believed was another story but Ziva knew his followers were believers, fanatics and would indeed only refer to one type of place as holy. As far as she remembered there were not many mosques buried under the city. A few were now tourist attractions but there were a couple she knew of that were little known to even the Turkish scholars. She would start her hunt with the mosques.

Wiping a tear off her cheek she placed a hand over her belly, "I am sorry, little one," she whispered as she sat alone at the back of the plane. "I wish everything was different. I do not know if my decision is right and I know I am risking you. It is hard to think straight but I feel that this must be done. You must be as strong as you can for us both. I do love you so and I do not want you to be left alone."

Ziva felt a faint kick at her words, "You are my little princess and I know if he had given you a chance you would have been your father's too."

Resting her head against the side of the plane, Ziva felt the vibration of movement. The low hum of the engines reminded her of the low hum of activity she would hear outside the walls of Saleem's camp. She didn't often think of her time in Somalia she had discovered long ago that dwelling on such things was fruitless but she could not help it.

She was free to move around the world, free to take this plane but she felt just as trapped by Parsa as she did by Saleem; more so. Now, she had a baby inside of her to protect. Even with the little life growing inside of her, Ziva felt more alone than she had in her whole life...more undeserving of help than she'd ever felt. She walked away from them...lied to them, to Tony. In her life it was one lie too many.

* * *

Ziva lost track of the days. She did little else but eat, wash and scour the underground chambers of Istanbul. Her only diversion from her quest to find Parsa was to break into a Mossad safe house and liberate them of a sniper rifle. It had proved easy; her father's code still worked. Unless someone did inventory in the armory room no one would know she'd been there.

What did prove tricky was the last mosque; the entrance she knew of was covered over with cement and a food vender's kiosk. She checked other locations first then returned to this mosque to notice men of a certain type enter a shopping arcade and seemingly vanish.

The hijab she wore and knowing the language allowed her easy access anywhere in Turkey but ferreting out this entrance she knew would not be so easy.

It took a trip to a university library and a sense of the buildings atop the ancient mosque but after several more days she discovered a way in. A water runoff tunnel existed under that area and connected to what was once the mosque's upper chambers. Ziva had to dislodge several heavy stone blocks but managed to open enough room to crawl through. She took with her a canvas bag that held small groceries hiding the disassembled rifle, her own crossbody bag and of course her neckpouch. When she managed to crawl into the mosque it became apparently quickly that this location was in use.

She emerged in the uppermost arched balcony, an area mostly collapsed over the centuries. There was a very narrow, partially collapsed stone stairway that led down to the main open rooms. She chose not to descend but to find a vantage point on this, obviously, little used level.

Ziva set up her sniper's nest and watched as men and some women moved about the main chamber below. She scanned the area through her scope checking each face carefully until she spotted him; Parsa. He stood near a column below speaking with two men.

She could take the shot and make her escape through the same hole she'd entered. She'd likely manage it before anyone could pinpoint her location.

Blinking her eyes and trying to steady her hand, Ziva took aim but before she could center Parsa in her crosshairs her vision blurred. She set the rifle down by her side as she inhaled deeply before her body lost control and convulsed in a violent seizure. As Ziva emerged from the seizure she instinctually wrapped her arms around her belly and closed her eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

_The nights we spent together nearly broke me, they nearly shattered every bit of my resolve..._

* * *

"DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!" Tony screamed into Ducky's face as he clutched one of Ziva's letters in his hand.

"Anthony," Ducky stood his ground, unrepentant. "If you collapse what use are you to Ziva? You have been awake for four days!"

"That does not give you the right to sedate me," Tony growled as he shoved the gurney they'd moved into autopsy for him against one of the steel tables. "Every minute I'm not trying to find them is a minute they could..."

"Tony," Ducky grabbed his arm, "you needed the rest or something could have happened to you. If you are in the hospital who is going to push this hard to get to them?"

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs bellowed as he stepped into autopsy with McGee a step behind, "Ducky had my authorization now enough-"

"You don't run my life, Gibbs," Tony turned to Gibbs with a deadly seriousness that stilled the room.

"You're right," Gibbs replied as he stepped closer to Tony, "but I am also not going to stand by while Ziva's best chance falls apart."

"Tony," McGee moved between Gibbs and Tony, "we have a lead. Malachi will be onscreen in MTAC in five."

Tony nodded and started out the doors when McGee's hand on his arm stopped him. McGee glanced at Gibbs, who gave him a nod, and Ducky and they both stepped out quickly.

"Tony," McGee started, "we are going to get to her just like we've done before. But I need you... she needs you to take a breath. We need detective Tony on this; the man who knows Ziva better than anybody."

"They had no right, McGee," Tony shook his head, his jaw clenched in controlled anger.

"It's over," McGee nodded before shooting him a determined look. "And you're rested. So now you can go another four days if we have to. But if you don't sleep I'm knocking your ass out and I might not use a sedative."

"When did you become so violent, McGee?" Tony shot him a half smile.

"I took lessons from Ziva," McGee started out. "Hit the bathroom before MTAC. You look like a porcuswine."

Tony stalled at hearing the Zivaism and glanced at the letter in his hand.

McGee turned, "Get your ass moving, DiNozzo. Ziva needs us."

Tony took a couple of minutes in the men's room and righted himself. The cool water on his face felt good. He'd tucked Ziva's letter in his pocket but still couldn't get out of his mind the line, _The nights we spent together nearly broke me..._ He should have fought harder; refused to leave her on that tarmac! He should have known he could have broken her determination to do whatever it was she wanted to do alone.

"Ziva," Tony muttered to himself, "I'm going to find you and this time I am never going to let you go."

He rushed up to MTAC and stepped up next to McGee just before Malachi's face appeared onscreen.

"Tony," Malachi addressed him as if there was no one else in the room with them, "A Mossad safe house in Istanbul was accessed, a few days ago, using the late Director David's personal code. We might not have noticed it if you hadn't told us Ziva was hunting Parsa. Director Elbaz actually ordered the audit herself."

"Istanbul," Tony repeated. "Was she there? Anything missing from the safe house?"

"A sniper rifle and ammo," Malachi nodded, "nothing else was taken. However, we may have a lead on Parsa's location. We used the Intel that Ziva gave your Secretary of the Navy to identify a few of his men. We have isolated a section of Istanbul that they disappear to and then reemerge from."

"Malachi forwarded me this information a few hours ago, Tony," McGee interjected. "I've cross-referenced every business and residence in the area but I haven't pinpointed a possible hideout yet."

"Wait," Tony squinted then looked between the men, "Ziva once told me something about Istanbul." He pointed at McGee as his mind worked to remember, "she once killed a guy with a credit card in Istanbul and...she had an informant she needed to smuggle back to Israel," Tony said in triumph. "She...she had to hide him for a few days before their ride back to Tel Aviv was ready and she hid him in an underground room. Some kind of ancient ruin and she was talking about a mosaic she liked down there."

"Turkey is riddled with underground chambers," Malachi stated. "In fact we have a map here that identifies some of the sealed or little known chambers. Just a moment," Malachi turned away from the screen and asked Liat something in Hebrew a moment later he was staring at something on a nearby computer screen. "Just a moment," he said as his fingers traced the screen. Malachi straightened with a nod, "There is a buried mosque in that area supposedly sealed for decades. That must be it."

"I'm on the next flight out," Tony stated before he and Malachi agreed to met in a staging area. State Departments would have to be told and the cooperation of the Turkish government would need to be secured. Director Vance who'd been listening the entire time offered to speak with SecNav but Director Elbaz appeared from off-screen and assured them she would acquire the authorization just before they were to take down Parsa. She didn't want any corrupt Turkish politician to foul this mission. Terms were agreed to quickly and Orli wished Tony luck on a personal level.

It was completely obvious from her reaction that she cared deeply for Ziva. Tony didn't quite understand it; did Ziva represent a child she might have had with Eli? Was Ziva simply an extension of Eli? Whatever the reason was he was beyond grateful for her help.

But it was Ziva herself who truly led them on this trail with her note to Monique, telling her she intended to hunt Parsa down herself, and with her work until she discovered she was pregnant. Pregnant...every time Tony thought of the baby fear squeezed his heart just a bit more...fear that something would happen to her ...to both of them. That fear was eating him alive.

It wasn't long before Tony, McGee, Ducky and Gibbs were on a transport to Turkey. Bishop was left behind to coordinate movements in MTAC. And Tony was grateful she didn't come; he didn't want Ziva to have to deal with any unfamiliar faces she wouldn't trust.

On the trip McGee kept reminding Tony that Ziva might not have found Parsa's hideout yet that perhaps they'll beat her to Parsa and it might take them awhile to locate Ziva afterwards. But somehow Tony knew Ziva was on the same trail they were...something itched at Tony's senses that his Ziva was close to Parsa. And that scared Tony to his core. He had to find her; he had to get to her before something happened they couldn't come back from.

* * *

Staging took a full twelve hours after they'd landed in Turkey. They used the Mossad safe house Ziva had liberated the rifle from. Tony almost felt her shadows in the place.

Malachi, Liat and Adam joined them along with two additional Kidon agents from Mossad. For the US side; Team Gibbs had Navy Seal team 9 and full authority to act. Authority wasn't as hard to come by as Tony feared; but since Parsa took responsibility for Jarvis' assassination it shouldn't have surprised him.

Malachi and Adam did the recon and pinpointed the entrance Parsa and his men were using to access the underground ruins. Surveillance was run for ten hours before they were confident enough to strike.

At 12:27am local time; they pierced the entrance. Team Gibbs entered behind the Navy Seals as Kidon brought up the rear. They had only the one entrance avenue but split into a three prong attack once inside. Bullets flew through the chambers, the echoes vibrating through the room like a morbid symphony. A bullet grazed the back of Tony's vest before he turned and cut down one of the terrorists. There were more of them than Tony had anticipated; 20...30 Tony's mind assessed.

From the corner of his eye, Tony spotted a man about to pull the pin off a grenade and without another thought he turned and fired. The man fell with a scream but the pin remained in the grenade. A moment later the din of noise died down. The taskforce took account of each other and only one man had taken a bullet to the leg. When Tony went to secure the grenade he took notice of the man's face...it was Benin Parsa.

"Clear," Gibbs shouted from the back chambers.

"I think we got them all," Adam offered as he looked around. "At least all who were here tonight."

"And here is the man of the hour," McGee sneered. "Nice shot, Tony," he said before releasing another bullet into Parsa's skull. "That was for Delilah."

Tony gave McGee a nod of approval before he started his search. He looked at every face, male and female that lied on the ground first. Then the systematically scoured every chamber that led off the main room. After more than an hour Malachi announced that the place was secured.

"Maybe she never made it this far, DiNozzo," Gibbs stated though Tony say a crack in his veneer.

"Then she is out there still," Tony said. "Maybe she didn't get her chance to strike with so many here."

"Likely," Gibbs replied as Ducky entered the chamber to start his tally of the dead.

Tony walked away from Gibbs and nodded at Ducky who was carrying the case Tony knew Ducky had filled with the medicine for Ziva. Ducky glanced up before proceeding with the dead. Orli had agreed to let them take the bodies back to US soil for identification.

As everyone went on with the business of clean up and report, Tony looked over the chamber, the arched columns and partially collapsed levels above their heads. He saw the stone stairs cracked and clearly unsafe to traverse leading up to the overhead levels. Then his heart started to pound as he realized Ziva would never penetrate this mosque from the main entrance Parsa and his men were using. She'd need to find a covert entrance...a sniper's perch.

Tony tossed the automatic gun he carried at McGee and raced up the stone steps. He jumped over the broken portions without thought or hesitation, nearly slipped twice, his hands getting the brunt of his stumble. He didn't stop until he reached the uppermost level and climbed over a collapsed section of stone. Then he saw the hole in the wall leading out to what looked like a runoff tunnel. He stepped around a fallen column and more debris and stopped dead in his tracks when she came into his line of sight.

"Ziva," he murmured before falling to his knees over her.

Her eyes were closed and she held her belly. The rifle lay behind her and Tony feared she'd been found and shot. His hands shook as he moved to touch her, look for a wound.

Relief flooded him as he felt that she was warm...warm, breathing and the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. His fingers moved to touch her face lightly and see that she was indeed real and not his imagination.

"Ziva, baby, I'm here," he whispered as he caressed her cheek and tried to coax her eyes open. His hand traveled down to hers, traveled over her belly. She was small, he noticed as he placed his hand over hers and then jumped a bit when he felt a strong kick from inside her. "Hi, there little DiNozzo. You're going to be OK...you're both going to be OK. I love you."

Tony slipped a hand under her head and brushed her hair back with his other hand, "Ziva..."

Her eyes opened slowly and she stared up at Tony.

"Hi there beautiful," he said but Tony saw no reaction in her eyes. "Ziva, you always make me work for this don't you," he smiled. "We're going to go home. I love you so much, baby."

Ziva stared past him, he saw no recognition in her eyes, no understanding that they were together.

Tony soothed her forehead, "It's going to be OK, I promise." He sat up straighter, "I need, Ducky!" he yelled.

As he eased her head back down to the ground, Gibbs, McGee and Ducky appeared from around the corner, obviously having climbed up the same way Tony had. Ducky pushed past Gibbs and knelt by Ziva.

"Hold her head, Anthony," Ducky ordered as he clicked on a pen light and shined it into her eyes. "Ziva, it's Ducky. Can you say my name?"

Ziva's eyes rolled back into her head as her body convulsed with seizure.

The few seconds Ziva shook and twitched seemed like hours to Tony before she calmed. "What is this, Ducky?"

"She must have been having multiple seizures, Tony," Ducky explained. "We need to get her to hospital right away. But I can give her a shot to stop the seizures for now. She won't be cognizant until her brain has had time to recover from lord knows how many seizures."

"We can get her out through that tunnel," Tony pointed and saw that McGee was already making the hole wider by removing more stone.

"Ducky," Gibbs started, "can you stabilize her enough to get her out of Turkey? It might be dangerous here. We don't know how many of Parsa's men were not here."

"Yes, I can," Ducky replied.

"Then we all get out of Turkey, now," Gibbs stated.

* * *

**Author's note: Hope this was exciting for you guys! For those interested in her medical status I'll go into greater detail in the next chapter. And yes, there is a little more story to tell. **

**HUGS! And thank you for the wonderful feedback! You are all out of this world fantastic!**


	12. Chapter 12

_Subject: Parsa, Benim._

_Report of Incident: Agent Anthony DiNozzo executed the fatal shot that killed subject. Subject known terrorist was identified on scene via visual comparison to known images of subject and fingerprint identification. Body sent to NCIS morgue for autopsy and DNA identification..._

Tony briefly read over the ROI McGee had typed out for him and signed it. SecNav wanted official confirmation of the death and Tony was pretty sure McGee was just trying to distract him.

They'd arrived at Bethesda a few hours ago after an eleven hour flight home from Turkey. Orli had offered for them to bring Ziva to Tel Aviv for treatment as it was much closer but Tony convinced Orli that it was best if she come home to DC. At least she didn't push when the slim argument came out of his mouth. I think she knew that he wasn't ready to see Ziva in Israel again, wasn't ready to face those ghosts. Orli gave them the use of her plane to return Ziva to the US.

Ducky gave her medication enroute but Ziva had additional seizures before Ducky could get them under control. About halfway through the flight Tony noticed that the seizures had stopped. He'd kept Ziva close the entire time; her head on his lap, or holding her hand or lying next to her in the couple of hours everything on the plane was quiet. He whispered how much he missed her, how much he loved her the whole time.

When they arrived at the hospital and they took Ziva away Tony felt her absence acutely. She never opened her eyes during the flight or as they brought her to the hospital. Ducky said she was exhausted from the seizures and her body wasn't ready to respond normally. She'd been dehydrated and her blood pressure was elevated and Ducky said sleep was best for now. But he caught the concerned look on the Scot's face. He knew the risk with Ziva was far higher than any of them wanted to verbalize.

"There you go, McGee," Tony handed the paper to Tim, "signed, sealed and delivered in a body bag."

"Thanks," McGee nodded, "I'll have this sent over to SecNav asap."

"What's taking so long?" Tony turned to the hospital doors separating him from Ziva, "Can't they just let me be with her?"

"They have to run their tests, Tony," McGee reassured. "Do-" Tim's sentiment was cut short as the doctor emerged through the doors and Gibbs, Ducky and Abby jumped out of their seats in the waiting room and headed towards them.

"Agent DiNozzo," Dr. Harrison went straight to Tony, "She's stable. We managed to get her blood pressure under control and the anti-seizure medication is working well. Dr. Mallard's treatment on the flight helped extensively in determining the right mix of medication for her."

"And the baby?" Tony asked nervously.

"The baby's heartbeat is strong," Harrison said. "The development indicates that she is approximately six months along."

"Just over six months," Tony informed, his mind briefly drifting to late October in the grove house with her.

Harrison nodded, "Ziva is underweight at this point but that is not all that surprising with the preeclampsia. Her seizures seem to be early onset but you did tell me she has been under stress and stress is an agitator of this disease."

"Big time stress," Tony took a deep breath as his eyes wandered to the doors.

"We are going to have to monitor her closely," Harrison stated, "her pregnancy is very high risk. But for now she has stabilized. The meds are doing their job and have evened her vitals out. I definitely want to keep her in the hospital for a few days but she should be able to go home for the duration of her pregnancy; with proper supervision of course. She should be on modified bed rest and her stress needs to be reduced as much as possible. Is that a possibility?"

"Yes," Tony nodded, "we got the bad guy."

Harrison smiled, "There is something else..."

Gibbs stepped up next to Tony as Tony shot him a quick nod to continue.

"She is awake," Harrison said, "but...she doesn't appear to be fully present. I think the seizures have taken a toll on her brain function and if that is the case a few days on the meds should restore that function...unless, unless damage was done in a fall or head injury during a seizure. We ran a CT scan but it was inconclusive."

"I have no way to know if she hurt herself," Tony said in a strangled tone, "I haven't been with her until now."

"I understand," Harrison shot him a sympathetic grin, "we'll just keep an eye on her and see how things develop, ok?"

"Can I see her?" Tony asked almost desperately.

"Yes, of course but try not to wear her out too much," Harrison instructed, "she is still very weak."

With a nod to the doctor and a glance at the others, Tony followed Harrison through the doors to Ziva's treatment room. On the walk Harrison told him they would be moving her up to another room in a few hours.

Harrison left Tony just outside Ziva's door and told him to ask the nurse for him if he needed anything.

Tony entered the room, noticing the IV attached to Ziva's arm and that Ziva was turned away from the door with her eyes closed. On the nightstand near her was the canvas bag Tony had brought back with her. For a moment his brain registered it as odd that it was out on the nightstand and not under her bed like most hospital's did. But that was only a moment - his focus centered completely on the form in the bed.

"Ziva?" Tony said hesitantly as he stepped up to her bed.

Ziva opened her eyes and turned her head to face him.

Letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding, Tony took her hand into his, "Hi."

Ziva glanced down at their hands before returning her gaze to Tony, "Hello," she replied simply.

"I missed you so much, Ziva," Tony spoke the words from his heart, "everyday."

He squeezed her hand and tried to catch her gaze.

"You need to know, I didn't get your letters until just days ago. I would never not come to you," he moved his other hand to her belly, "I would never not want our baby." Tony brought the hand he held to his mouth and kissed the back of her soft skin, "You mean everything to mean, Ziva. I will always fight for you just like I told you in Israel."

Ziva pulled her hand away from Tony and sat up in bed, "I can fight."

"I know you can, Ziva," Tony moved her IV cord so it would not tangle, "Sweetheart," he said through a cracked voice, "do you know who I am?"

She looked him over and nodded, "Tony."

"That's right," Tony lowered the side rail on her bed, "you are with me now. No more running, no more fighting. I'll take care of you and this little squirt."

"I see," Ziva's eyelids lowered as if she was thinking about something, "I would not accept the help if not for the baby, thank you. I will not be a bother."

"What?" Tony looked at her trying to understand, "Ziva, the seizures did something to you. You are not a bother...you are my life, please," his heart broke at hearing her small words at seeing her eyes looking at him but not seeing him.

"I saw him," Ziva said, "but I could not get my hand to pull the trigger. You cannot let anyone know I am here," she looked up and plead.

"Ziva," Tony realized she understood about Parsa, "Parsa is dead. We found him and killed him. I found you in your sniper's perch; you had had a seizure."

"He is dead then?" Ziva searched Tony's face.

"Yes," he answered.

"Good," Ziva nodded. "I...I do not have to stay, now. I can find care for my pregnancy someplace else, Tony. I do not want to interfere in your life."

"Ziva," Tony stared directly into her eyes, "please, understand, I did not get your letters. I want you. I. Love. You."

"Perhaps Director Vance would allow me to stay at the Navy lodgings again?" Ziva asked, "Just for a few days until I can figure out where I can go safely. I know SecNav is probably angry with me for failing the mission...probably the Navy lodgings is not the right idea. No matter, I will find a hotel for a few days. Do you want to know when the child is born or-"

"ZIVA," Tony yelled, "you are not going anywhere but home with me!"

Ziva blinked, "I do not think I should, Tony. You have your life and I am not a part of it anymore."

They were going in circles. This was part of the problem with her brain function because of the seizures; it had to be. "You are coming home with me and we are going to see a healthy baby brought into this world. That is not up for debate, Ziva."

"Very well," Ziva gave Tony a quick nod, "until the child is born."

* * *

**Author's note: I know the question was asked about how far along Ziva was in her pregnancy so now you know :). Just over 6 months. I am assuming that Tony and Ziva were together until late October (the episode Past, Present, Future just said October so I may or may not be taking liberties with a few weeks). We are in April in the story - after Tony got the letters it was only a few days, five or six or so until he found Ziva. **

**As for the question on the burn phone Tony was calling. While on the flight from Brazil to Turkey Ziva removed the battery. Tony's call was placed after that moment - any time after that moment so not necessarily while she was in flight but after she removed the battery. **

**Now - THANK YOU! Your feedback is so much fun to read...and just cause - HUGS back to Germany :)**

**Acutally, HUGS to each one of you! So happy you are enjoying this agnsty tale! And of couse, more to come yet...**


	13. Chapter 13

_Monique:_

_Please understand why I do not want you to talk to Ziva right now. She isn't responding to me as she should and I think we need some time alone together to work this out. The doctors say that it might be a psychiatric problem. The seizures have been fully controlled and the meds have had time to work through her system but she isn't Ziva. She seems to be in a fog all the time even though she responds to questions and can converse. I have asked someone to come talk to her at home but I want to get her settled in first. We leave the hospital today. _

_I will keep you up to date on her condition._

_Tony_

* * *

In the six days Ziva was in the hospital Tony had changed out the bed in his room for a king sized and made room in the closet for her clothes, the little that he'd managed to buy her inbetween making the bedroom comfortable for her, stocking the fridge and staying as much time as he could with her in the hospital - even if it was outside her room as the doctors ran test after test.

Gibbs drove them home but Ziva didn't respond to him as she should have...would have at other times. She seemed almost afraid of him and sat quietly in the backseat with her hands protectively over her belly. Tony thought that maybe it was because everytime Gibbs managed to get to the hospital she was asleep or off for tests. Gibbs, McGee and Bishop were still working on the Parsa case; making sure they mapped out Parsa's organization and brought them all down. Ducky was still working on the autopsies and Abby was swamped with forensics. But they all insisted Tony stay with Ziva and picked up all the slack he left; even Vance insisted he stay with Ziva and officially put Tony on protective duty in case any of Parsa's men decided to hunt her down.

Gibbs tried to make conversation with her on the drive home but Ziva only seemed to retreat further into herself so Gibbs stopped trying. Tony was grateful that Gibbs didn't push further; Ziva was jumpy enough. She'd wouldn't let the nurse take her canvas bag away and insisted on wearing it while in the wheelchair. Tony had noticed that she held onto that thing like a life vest but it really shouldn't surprise him. She was a trained spy who'd been on the run for months in the most vulnerable position any women could be in; pregnant and hunted. That bag had what she needed to survive so of course she'd clutch it tight.

As they pulled up in front of Tony's apartment building, Tony thanked Gibbs for the ride and with just a look told his boss that he was better off alone with Ziva. Gibbs nodded, told Ziver that he'd visit soon and Tony helped Ziva out of the car.

Tony wanted to take the small bag the hospital had given her with medication and the clean set of scrubs she'd asked for but Ziva shook her head and said she was fine. He led her upstairs and opened the apartment door.

"We're home, Sweetcheeks," Tony smiled as he opened the door for her. "I bought some falafels to heat up for lunch from Amid's food truck. He wanted me to tell you he can't wait to see his prettiest customer again. Should I be jealous?"

Ziva stepped into the apartment and stood near the sofa with her bags in hand. "May I use your bathroom?"

Tony let out a sigh as he closed and locked the door before turning to her, "Ziva, you don't have to ask," he told her but she didn't move. "Of course you can use it."

"Thank you," Ziva gave him a quick nod and disappeared into the bathroom off the bedroom.

Tony took off his jacket and tossed it on a kitchen stool before taking the falafels out of the fridge and putting them in the oven on low. He poured a couple of glasses of iced tea and debated on adding a few splashes of whiskey to his.

He'd had her back for a week now and still he didn't have her. She was lost inside whatever this was that had a hold of her and he wasn't sure how to free her; how to get his Ziva back from the darkness. Tony hoped that now that they would be together in the apartment, maybe, just maybe she'd relax and he could get through to her. It wasn't easy to relax in a hospital with people poking and prodding you all day.

Ziva emerged from the bathroom, her leather jacket in hand with the hospital bag and her canvas bag slung across her body.

"I made room in the closet for you," Tony came around the kitchen island, "why don't we put your stuff away," he said as he led her back around to the bedroom and opened one of the mirrored closet doors. "This whole space is for you, Ziva. I bought you a few things. It was interesting figuring out maternity wear let me tell you; but this should hold you over until we can go get you a few more things."

"You emptied this whole closet?" Ziva glanced over at Tony with a worried expression. "You should not have. I do not need so much room. Just a small corner to hide my things."

"Sweetheart," Tony took her hand, "you don't need to hide anything. This is your home."

Ziva placed the bag from the hospital neatly on the closet floor near the wall and hung up her jacket before taking a step back from the closet.

"Come on," Tony led her back to the kitchen, "the falafels smell good," he said as he put on his oven mitt and pulled them from the oven, setting the tray he'd used on the island. He took each tin foil encased falafel and set them closer to the stools with the iced tea he'd poured. "Dig in."

Tony took the baking tray away and stored it back in the oven before tossing his mitt to one side. When he turned he saw Ziva gingerly pinching an edge of the falafel off and eating it while standing. "Sit down, Ziva."

"I am fine," she replied before sipping her tea.

Tony furrowed his brow as he rounded the island and noticed his jacket occupied one stool and she'd set his food neatly in front of the free stool. He grabbed his jacket and threw it into the dining room, "Ziva, take a seat, please."

Ziva went to the dining room, picked up his jacket and placed it neatly over a dining chair. Tony came up behind her, "You don't need to tiptoe around here, Ziva. Nothing in this place matters...only you matter."

"I do not want to interfere with the way you live," Ziva stated softly. "Please, I can be unobtrusive."

"I don't want you to be unobtrusive, Ziva," Tony turned her to face him "I want you to make this place yours. Make a mess I don't care, play opera music, put Pirates of the Caribbean on repeat; I want to see your hair thingy's everywhere, I want to trip over your muddy boots and see your sneakers next to mine. Sweetheart, you're home."

Ziva pulled away from Tony and went back to stand near the island. She opened her canvas bag but before she could take anything out; Tony took hold of her and sat her on the stool. "At least sit while you eat, Ziva," he said.

Ziva nodded and took a small bite of her falafel before returning to rummage in her bag. "I have to exchange some currency but is four hundred dollars enough to cover the cost of the clothing you purchased for me? I have that much here now."

Tony had to swallow his emotion, "Ziva, I bought that stuff for you. You don't need to give me any money."

"Please, take it," Ziva said, "I can pay for my own things. I always have."

"Eat the food before it gets cold, Ziva," Tony's voice cracked, "and then you should rest."

Ziva moved the money towards the center of the island before finishing her food. She pulled out a prescription bottle from her bag and took a small pill with the last of her tea.

"When did you pick up the prescriptions?" Tony asked as he turned to her.

"The doctor gave them to me," Ziva replied, "I have to take this one every six hours. It makes me sleepy. May I rest on the couch?"

"Ziva," Tony bit his lip, "did you see the bed? It's pretty big now. I thought maybe we could share it?"

"I would rather rest on the couch, please," Ziva asked politely.

"No," Tony shook his head, "you take the bed and I will sleep on the couch, ok."

"I cannot," Ziva stood up, "I will not take your bed. I will find another place to stay."

"Ok, ok," Tony stood with her and took hold of her arms, "fine, you can have the couch. Just please, don't try to leave me again."

Ziva moved away and went to sit in the corner of the sofa. She was careful not to disturb his laptop and leaned her head on her arm with her feet pulled in under her as much as she could manage with her belly. She looked so small, so lost. It was all Tony could do to keep from screaming at her to stop this, to come back to him, to understand that he loved her more than life; That he had no life without her.


	14. Chapter 14

_...Tony, I know I have asked much of you and you have done alot for me over the years but I must ask this; even if I do not deserve it the baby does. I know you are a good man and even if you are afraid of having a child I know you could not abandon her. Please, just contact me?_

* * *

Tony thought that showing her _her_ letters might get through to her but she simply stared at the pages blankly; no recognition beyond simple identification. His frustration, heartache grew with each passing day.

They'd been home from the hospital for two weeks. Ducky had been by many nights to talk to Ziva but to no avail. She still seemed frightened of Gibbs and neither McGee nor Abby could get her to react normally; in fact she seemed more withdrawn with them than with Tony but at least she wasn't frightened by them as she seemed to be by Gibbs.

The fear in Ziva's eyes hurt Gibbs, Tony knew it...saw it. Gibbs confided in him that he was afraid he'd been too hard on Ziva at times and that was what she was recalling. Gibbs decided to back away for now but told Tony to take whatever time was needed.

But Tony didn't know what was needed. He called Dr. Cranston and she was coming over this afternoon. What Tony did know is that they needed help and he would call on anyone to help. There were so many things Ziva was doing that were killing him; he'd found out that in the middle of the night when she had to go to the bathroom she'd leave the apartment and go to the gym on the third floor to use the facility there instead of risking waking him up by walking through the bedroom. When Tony had to go out she would leave the building for food instead of taking something from the fridge so not to take away what was his. When he found out he lost his temper and screamed at her; scared she was risking the baby as she was already underweight. He tried to make her understand that it was all for her.

Her hands shook intensely when a water glass slipped out and broke on the kitchen tile. She cut her hand picking up the shards and repeatedly told him she was sorry. He saw it with his own eyes; she was afraid; afraid to disturb him in any way. She was here with him but she wasn't...she was trying to be a ghost, invisible. He couldn't figure out why she was so afraid...why she couldn't hear him when he told her he loved her.

This had all broken him. He couldn't stop his own tears; everything he wanted he could touch but he didn't have. She was slipping further and further away from him and into fear with each day. It was like she was falling and he couldn't get to her in time.

Ziva sat on the couch in that same corner she had that first day. He'd moved his laptop and made room for her but she rarely used all the space. He knew when she wasn't feeling well because she'd stretch out just a bit more. At first when he'd noticed it he tried to comfort her but she quickly withdrew into herself, pulled mind and body away from him. The only thing she never let go of was her canvas bag and a small black neckpouch that carried her passport. He realized these things reassured her but he grew more and more fearful of her having them because she could simply vanish again.

He watched her stare out the window, even the movies didn't hold her interest long, as she clutched the bag with one hand and held the other over the baby. Tony heard the knock on the door and saw her jump defensively.

"It's OK, Ziva," Tony gestured for her to stay seated but she rose anyway, "It's a friend."

Tony stepped away from Ziva and opened the front door letting Dr. Cranston in. "Hi."

"Hi, Tony," Rachel smiled. "How is she today?"

"The same," Tony replied, "worse."

"I read Ducky's reports," Rachel whispered to Tony as she glanced over at Ziva who was now standing by the piano. "Let me have some time alone with her?"

Tony nodded, "Can I just go into the other room or do you need me to leave the apartment?"

"The other room should be fine for now," Rachel said as she took off her jacket and tossed it on the couch.

"Ziva," Tony approached her, "do you remember Dr. Cranston?"

Ziva took a step towards Tony and Rachel. She smoothed the blue tunic she wore over black maternity leggings before taking another step and stopping directly in front of Rachel. "Yes, I remember Dr. Cranston."

"Good," Rachel nodded, "I'd like to talk with you for a little while, Ziva, is that ok?"

Ziva took a deep breath, "My brother murdered your sister. I do not think we should talk."

The statement sucked the air out of the room. Ziva broke the stillness by starting to move towards the bedroom and away from Tony and Rachel.

"You avenged my sister's death," Rachel turned to Ziva. "You stopped a killer from taking more lives. Thank you."

Ziva stopped moving and turned back to her, "I just want to have my baby. Please leave me alone." She turned and went into the bedroom then into the bathroom and closed the door.

Tony broke down and leaned against the wall. "I can't get through to her."

"This was hardly a session but from what I read in Ducky's reports I think I can safely say she is suffering a type of dissociative post traumatic stress," Rachel offered. "The birth of the baby might help. She seems to be connected to it and its wellbeing."

"Might?" Tony repeated incredulously, "she can't be this way with our daughter. I need Ziva back," he cried, "there has to be a way to get to her?"

"Today is not the day for a session," Rachel informed, "but give me a little time and maybe I can figure out a way to get Ziva to trust me. I'll be back in a few days, Tony. I'm going to confer with a few colleagues," she said as she slipped her jacket back on.

Tony nodded and opened the door for her, feeling as if hope was draining away with each day. After Rachel was gone, Tony looked around the room.

The only evidence that Ziva occupied any space was a neatly folded blanket on the couch and Tony's head tilted as he noticed she'd left her canvas bag next to the couch. He looked down the hall a moment then went to the bag and opened the flap. He looked inside and saw two wallets, her gun, several papers and a couple of energy bars. There was nothing that could give him a clue inside the bag.

When he closed the flap he noticed a plug in the wall outlet next to the couch, near her bag. He found it strange because the cell he kept for her was on the coffee table and the plug was in the kitchen. Tony grabbed the cord and looked at the end, it was different, it was a micro USB cord not the smart phone cord the cell he'd given her used.

Tony dropped the cord when he heard the bathroom door open and took a step away from the couch. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," Ziva responded. "But I do not want to speak to her; I have nothing to say."

"She's gone," Tony threw Ziva a half grin, "I should have remembered how fond you are of head shrinks."

"May I take a glass of water?" Ziva asked.

"Come here," Tony ordered and watched as she stepped closer to him. "Sit down I'll get you the water."

"I can-"

"Sit, Ziva," Tony pointed to her corner of the couch. "I'll be right back."

Ziva sat down as Tony went and poured water from the fridge into a glass. He returned to her with the glass and sat on the coffee table in front of her. Ziva smiled and whispered thank you before taking the glass and drinking. As she drank Tony noticed she was wearing her neckpouch and at that moment decided to take a chance.

"I'll be back," Tony rose from the table, "I'm going to get something in the kitchen."

Ziva nodded as Tony stood up and stepped back into the kitchen. He leaned against the island for a moment, tears edging his eyes.

"What if?" Tony whispered to himself, "What if..." He pulled out his cell and dialed the number that had been etched into his memory by fear and grief. He stepped into the dining room shadows where he could see her but she didn't notice him and he pressed _send._

A painful moment later he jumped as the room was filled with a loud, shrill, ringing.

Ziva startled as well as the sound surrounded her. She practically ripped her top to pull out her neckpouch and retrieve the slim phone hidden within. He saw her hands start to shake as she stared at the ringing cell.

Ziva gasped then blink just before she hit the phone and brought it to her ear, "Tony?" she said in a strangled cry.

"Yes," he practically screamed, "It's me. Ziva, I'm here."

"Tony!" Ziva exclaimed, "Oh, Tony, I need you. Please, do not leave me alone."

"Ziva!" Tony moved out of the shadows of the dining room and rushed to her, he pushed the coffee table aside and knelt in front of her, "I'm here. I am right here," he affirmed as he dropped his cell.

She blinked confused, "Tony?" She extended her hands and touched his face; her eyes widening. "How? Oh God, Tony!" Ziva threw her arms around Tony and fell to her knees with him, embracing him, holding him just like he'd hoped.

"Ziva, Baby," he cried as they kissed. They drank each other in with desperate kisses that couldn't sate the need they had for each other. "Ziva," Tony breathed, "look at me."

Ziva pulled back and looked directly into his eyes, her eyes glistening with tears, "How am I here?" she asked completely confused, "Is this real?"

"Yes, sweetheart, it's real," he said as he took her face in his hands and kissed her again.

"Tony," Ziva wiped a few tears from her cheeks, "I do not understand. How?"

"What is the last thing you remember?" Tony asked as he helped her back up onto the couch and sat with her, never letting her go, keeping her as close as possible.

"I was...I was," Ziva narrowed her eyes trying to recall, "trying to kill Parsa. I found him in Istanbul, in an underground ruin. I fashioned a sniper's perch. I was going to kill him and escape the way I got in." She then looked up at Tony shaking her head, "I cannot remember anything else? How did we get here?"

"That was weeks ago, Ziva," Tony held her, took in her scent then pulled back and looked into her eyes. He had to make sure she was really here with him, "I found you and brought you home."

"I do not remember," Ziva shook her head.

"You don't need to remember," Tony kissed her deeply.

"Tony, why," Ziva put her hands on his chest; "Why did you not answer my letters right away?" she asked him defiantly.

"Plague," Tony answered as tears fell from his eyes.

"You were infected with plague again?" Ziva peered quizzically at him.

"No," he smiled, "someone's bright idea to irradiate the mail on the Navy Yard. The letters weren't released for months. I didn't know...I didn't have the number. The moment I did-"

"You called," Ziva smiled. "I was waiting for that call."

* * *

**Well, Gang, this is the natural end.**

**I will however continue a bit longer with the story if you guys want some fluff :)**

**I hope you found it satisfying. In the end; Ziva just needed that call - she'd wished, waited and prayed for it for too long to give up on it and her mind shut down when it never came. For those curious; she will never remember the weeks between finding Parsa's hideout and the call.**

**This story had a bit of symbolism for us Tiva fans in it: The unanswered letters were my tip of the hat to the fans unheard pleas for Ziva to be brought back.**

**The tortuous waiting for answers - the mystery of Cote's departure.**

**The amnesia: my desire to forget most of this last season of NCIS.**

**The happy reunion - of course - Ziva returns!**

**HUGS and much affection to all of you! I hereby dedicate this story to Tiva fans everywhere but especially my feedbackers!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey everybody! Ok here is a little add-on piece. Not as fluffy as I intended but there will be more to come with fluffy :) Enjoy! **

* * *

"You can't shut me out like that ever again," Tony practically ordered as they laid in bed holding each other. The pain he felt that night on the tarmac still a fresh wound. He'd wanted to stay but she'd pushed him away; he should have stayed, should have known the truth all along.

"I did not know what was going to happen, Tony," Ziva looked up into his eyes, a hint of the fear and regret he'd seen that night reflected in them, "I was scared that my past...what Ari did would hurt you, the team. I could not bear that, I had to take it on alone."

"We all have a past, Ziva," Tony sat up, the sheet falling to his waist, his regret, his failings warring with the joy of having her here, "we all have cases and vendettas and crazy that could touch any one of us but we stand together to fight it. Look at the Reynosa cartel."

"Gibbs did not tell us what was going on for a long time and he tried to handle it himself first," Ziva argued.

"Ok, bad example," Tony brushed a stray strand from her face, taking every moment to revel in her, "but when he did clue us in that was when it was handled. And I don't care about Gibbs and his lone man missions...I care about you and that you never do this again. Ziva, I love you and I definitely can't live without you. I have been going insane for the last six months and I wasn't stable before that!"

"I remember," Ziva smiled up at him and ran her fingers over his cheek, their warmth sending sparks to his heart, "I love you, Anthony DiNozzo. When I opened the door and found you on my doorstep in Israel I could hardly keep it together. You had found me...again." Her voice reflected the astonishment she'd felt at that moment.

"Well," Tony smiled widely and touched her belly, "I'm glad that we couldn't keep it together for those few nights." He leaned down and kissed her softly then the kiss deepened as Ziva's fingers ran into his hair as they drew each other in, unwilling to part too soon.

"I am too," Ziva whispered as they pulled apart. He already felt bereft of her touch.

Ziva grew quiet as her hand slipped over his on her belly. Tony kissed her neck before he lied back down and pulled her securely into his arms. His lips skimming her forehead.

"It hurt me that you thought I wouldn't come for you...for both of you," Tony murmured as he leaned his forehead against hers, felt the pain of that thought stab him again.

"I truly thought you would at first," Ziva answered honestly, "but when I did not hear back from you...when no call came I thought there had been one too many lies, one too many hurts and you were through with me. Tony, I...I was confused and frightened. I had this tiny little life inside of me to protect and very bad men trying-" She tried to hold back her tears but they came unbidden, "I needed you...I wanted you."

Tony held her close, kissed her tears, "I belong to you, Ziva. I have since we met. I might not have always understood it but it was always there. Nothing you could ever do will change that. Nothing." Tony smiled brightly at her as his heart beat for her, "I love you, Ziva David. I love you, I love you, I love you and I will never stop myself from saying it again."

"We hurt each other alot," Ziva placed her hand on his chest, felt the steady thumping of his heart under her fingertips.

"That's over," Tony stated. "We're getting married and having a baby now."

Ziva blinked, "Married?"

"Didn't I tell you?" Tony grinned, "I want to be married before this little princess makes her grand debut."

Ziva embraced Tony tightly, cried into his shoulder as Tony asked, "Is that a yes?"

Ziva nodded as she pulled back, "Can we really do this?"

"I've been married to you in my heart for a long time, Ziva," Tony nodded.

"Yes," she replied. "I want to be Mrs. DiNozzo."

* * *

Tony knew he'd been selfish yesterday but they needed...he needed time alone with Ziva before the whole world knew she was truly back. Last night they'd made love, held each other and actually talked. In all the years they'd known each other they'd never been so open and honest before...so fully intimate.

It was a revelation to Tony just how life could be and he loved it, loved her completely.

He finished dressing and stepped out of the bedroom to find the kitchen spotless. Something about the spotless kitchen aggravated him and he rolled his shoulders back. He stepped out to the living room and found Ziva's throw blanket neatly folded on the sofa and the front door slightly ajar.

"Ziva?" He called out as he took two long strides towards the front door but was forestalled as Ziva reentered the apartment.

"I was just throwing the garbage in the chute, Tony," Ziva informed before giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

"Don't," Tony growled to Ziva's surprise.

"Why?" she asked incredulously.

"I'll clean up, Ziva," Tony shut the door and walked her to the sofa. He sat her down and opened the throw on her legs.

"Tony," Ziva peered at him, "I am not cold. What is wrong?"

With a heavy sigh, Tony sat next to Ziva, "These last weeks..." he took her hand in his, "I couldn't reach you. You wouldn't live here; you were careful with everything you did or touched and kept everything clean. You were afraid and I don't know why I made you afraid."

"I am sorry, Tony," Ziva squeezed his hand, "I do not remember. It is strange I truly cannot remember anything between seeing Parsa and then hearing the cell ring. But I will tell you I was very scared. I was attacked in Turkey before I went to Monique. I just wanted to crawl into a shell and hide until the baby was born."

"You were hiding," Tony nodded before kissing her, "I don't ever want you to be scared of me. I don't ever-"

Ziva kissed him, "Tony, I know, I know. I am sorry."

"Don't be sorry just don't leave me again," Tony said as they kissed softly.

Ziva nodded and they held each other for a few moments, "Monique," she said as she sat straighter. "Have you heard from her?"

"She is fine," Tony nodded, "she'll probably come up and visit soon. She was so worried about you but I asked her to give me some time alone with you first."

Ziva nodded then turned her head as a knock came on the front door.

Tony kissed her temple then rose and answered the door, "Hey, Gibbs."

"Everything ok?" Gibbs asked as he stood at the threshold, "I got your message to come over with Ducky. He's on his way."

"Come in," Tony said as he watched Gibbs hesitate.

Gibbs stepped in and looked to the sofa to see Ziva stand up and take a few steps towards him.

"Hi, Gibbs," she said with a smile.

"Ziver?" Gibbs asked hesitantly.

Ziva nodded and went to embrace him. Gibbs took her in his arms tentatively then it was like realization hit and he squeezed her tight, "Ziver?!"

"I am fine, Gibbs," she said as she pulled back. "I...I missed you."

Tony sat them all down and explained what had happened yesterday. He told them that he'd called McGee earlier and explained to him as well. He'd stop by later with Delilah so Ziva could meet her.

"McGee said it was a day for good news," Tony informed as he handed Ziva a glass of water.

"I cannot wait to see him and meet Delilah," Ziva grinned widely, "I am so happy he found someone special."

"Did you tell her, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked as he stood to open the door for undoubtedly Ducky.

Tony shook his head and tried to form the right words to tell Ziva McGee's girl was paralyzed. Instead of telling her outright he waited for Ducky to greet her and examine her before he'd break the news. He and Gibbs took the time Ducky was examining Ziva to talk about the future. Tony made it perfectly clear he intended to marry Ziva and Gibbs was clearly happy about it. Gibbs told Tony he'd be covered with the protection assignment for a few more weeks before they had to figure out their work schedules again. Tony nodded and realized work was the last thing he wanted to think about. They had so much to do, so many plans to make and he wanted to enjoy every last moment.


	16. Chapter 16

"Tony, that is disgusting," Ziva scrunched her face as she curled into Tony's side on the sofa.

"What?" Tony offered her some popcorn but she shook her head, "You have done worse, I've seen it."

"I have never shot two rotting corpses at the same time," Ziva smirked as she rubbed her belly.

"What about in the safe house with that witness who turned out to be a real pirate bad guy? Huh? What about him?" Tony argued as he popped several kernels in his mouth.

"First, that guy looked nothing like Jack Sparrow, I love Pirates of the Caribbean, and second they were not rotting corpses with bits falling off their skulls!"

"They were ugly though, admit it," Tony leaned over her belly and repeated, "they were really ugly."

"They burst through the doors with guns," Ziva shook her head, "I did not really have time to notice before I shot."

"Well," Tony handed Ziva her water, "I am just saying that in the Walking Dead world we'd likely survive. You have mad ninja skills, Gibbs has mad sniper skills, I have mad skills all around and McGee...well he might be zombie lunch."

"I do not think so, Tony," Ziva sipped her water and tilted her head at the TV as the show's heroes captured a prison complex. "See, we would all be smart enough to capture a better habitat or at least something without a flimsy chain link fence."

"That might be all we could get our hands on," Tony extended his hand toward the TV, "I mean the world has gone zombie."

"Oh, please, Tony," Ziva rolled her eyes. "Next, you are going to say that the mad scientist's zombie wife did it all! If the world was going to zombie we would be among the first to commandeer a fortress, or an island or something we could defend. And do you really think between Abby, Ducky and McGee they would not discover a cure for that disease?"

"You have a point there," Tony conceded.

"Of course I do," Ziva snatched the popcorn bowl from Tony and started munching.

"Speaking of McGoo," Tony took a gulp from his soda before setting it down on the side table, "He or should I say Delilah invited us to dinner tonight, want to go? Or too tired?"

"Want to go," Ziva smiled as she sniffed the air, "she is making eggplant parmigiana from a recipe we saw yesterday."

"I thought you two were trying to find homemade baby food recipes?" Tony teased, "I don't think eggplant parm in a blender will be very appetizing for little princess."

"We made note of forty-seven different baby food recipes and then decided to look for something you and McGee would like," Ziva raised her chin defiantly.

Tony kissed her and still marveled at how his love for her kept growing deeper with each day. These little things wormed their way inside him and kept expanding his heart. He really couldn't live without her, never again. He'd had her home now for just about two months; she was eight months pregnant, a little more. And Delilah, well McGee had shared the news with them that Delilah was pregnant a couple of months ago. She'd been a full three months along when McGee fessed up; he and Delilah had both been scared the pregnancy wouldn't be viable with her in the wheelchair but so far so good as Delilah moved well into her fifth month.

Ziva and Delilah had become fast friends; something about being pregnant at the same time and married to partners had them bonding in no time. Tony was happy their friendship blossomed it made McGee moving into the building with Delilah all the better. He and Ziva moved to a higher floor with three bedrooms, two and a half baths and no way for a sniper to target their windows. McGee and Delilah took an apartment up the hall on their same floor. Both men were secretly grateful the two apartments became available on the same floor. McGee wouldn't verbalize it but he was glad Ziva was nearby in case his independent Delilah needed a hand and Tony liked the idea of Ziva having someone they could trust nearby. It worked out well. Well, except that Abby was not very happy with McGee's moving on and Ziva had to console her a bit too much. Tony had to run a bit of interference because he didn't want Abby's stress to pass on to Ziva now.

His tough, take no prisoners, Ziva was back and so far her memory of those weeks after he'd found her never returned. Tony wanted to forget that time too.

His Ziva was back but right now she was a little bit slower, a little bit softer, a little bit scared. They both were; it wasn't every day one became a parent and with their backgrounds they both hoped they'd do this right or at least better than their parents did. But right now, Tony worried, worried about the preeclampsia and the tough time Ziva was having with the pregnancy in this late stage. The doctor was nearly ready to admit her until she gave birth but somehow Ziva managed to get her blood pressure under control; he put nothing past Ziva.

Tony stared down at the rings on her hand and smiled to himself as she made a face at the TV. They'd married six weeks ago in a small but beautiful ceremony on a Tall Ship named the _Graceful Splendor_. Senior had arranged it with his wealthy reenactment buddy who owned the ship.

Tony accepted because it seemed beyond fitting. The wedding was officiated by Navy Captain Owens who happened to be in port and was the captain Tony served under during his agent afloat days. Tim was his best man, Palmer was an usher, Abby stood up for Ziva along with Delilah and Gibbs gave her away. It was breathtaking out there on the open sea, well at least over three miles from shore. Tony remembered very little of the scenery as his singular focus was Ziva in her short, white, empire dress and flowing hair.

"Hey, DiNozzo," Ziva poked Tony in the ribs, "awake in there?"

"Yes, Mrs," Tony nuzzled her neck, "just daydreaming."

"Well," Ziva pecked him on the cheek, "think you can wake up enough to drive me to the hospital?"


	17. Chapter 17

Tony's heart pounded while he held Ziva as she pushed through a contraction. Ziva, covered in sweat and suffering through labor now for three hours, commanded his heart, his every breath. She was the fire in his soul and the drum of his heart. She held onto him as she fought to bring their daughter into the world but more...she let him in completely. These last months with her had been world changing. He had no clue this could exist, no clue that they could engage so deeply...so intimately with each other. It wasn't just the sex, though that was heaven, but more. It was everything, every look, touch, kiss and word.

She let down her guard and so did he and they shared; everything in the quiet and intimate moments. She held nothing back and neither did he; all the fears, anger, secrets and pain. But most of all their longing for just this. Ziva was part of him and he was part of her now and soon the little bundle they'd created in moments of uncontrolled passion would appear.

The doctor had the nerve to suggest a C-section about an hour ago and Tony was ready to let them do it but Ziva gave the glare of death so they hung onto the labor and now their daughter was almost here; almost ready to make her debut.

Ziva had an epidural and an IV drip that Tony knew was full of a medication cocktail that would make Breaking Bad's Heisenberg proud. But the doctors worried over her preeclampsia and wanted to make sure no seizures were imminent. The doctors weren't the only ones worried. She was his entire life now and if her breath died so would his.

It felt like a long time, three hours of Ziva working to bring her into the world but three hours was nothing or so the doctors kept telling him. But to him it had been three hours of fear, of practically holding his breath until he knew Ziva was safe, until he knew they both were.

"One big push, Ziva," stated Dr. Rosen.

Tony held her shoulders as her face scrunched up and he could feel the effort course through her body. Then came a hard squeeze to his hand and a silent scream and the baby arrived. Tony held his breath and he noticed so did Ziva as they waited long moments. He squeezed Ziva's hand in return as it seemed too long but soon they heard it, the most beautiful sound; their daughter's first cry.

"Is she Ok?" Ziva asked as she took big gasps of air.

"Healthy lungs if I ever heard 'em," Rosen said as the nurse helped him remove the umbilical cord. A moment later he handed the baby over to Ziva who rested their daughter on her chest.

"She is a month early," Ziva said nervously as Tony gaped at them both, "Is that-"

"She is well developed, Ziva," Rosen responded. "She'll be fine."

Ziva let out a sigh as she looked from the baby to Tony, "We have a daughter, Tony. I can hardly believe it," she said through cracks in her voice.

"New member of the family aboard," Tony kissed Ziva softly then the baby, "Look," he said as he counted, "ten fingers and toes."

Ziva grinned up, "She has your eyes, I think."

"She'll be perfect as long as she has your spirit," Tony whispered into Ziva's ear, "I love you, Ziva. I love you."

* * *

Hours passed as everyone gawked at the baby in the maternity ward or went to the cafeteria while Ziva slept. Tony never left her side, instead held her hand and dozed in the chair next to her bed.

When Ziva woke the nurses brought them the baby. Tony asked the crew to wait awhile longer and give him and Ziva a short while alone with their daughter.

"They are all asking the same question," Tony said as he sat on the bed next to Ziva while she held the baby after her first breastfeeding.

"I know," Ziva smiled, "what is her name?"

Tony nodded, "We have to make a decision for our princess."

"We have called her princess alot while I was pregnant," Ziva observed, "in Hebrew princess is Sarah, do you like that name?"

"I do," Tony smiled, "but," he pulled closer the hospital notepad and a pen. "I like this better."

Tony wrote out the name, _Zara_.

"I have a thing for women with Z names," he winked at his wife.

Ziva held back tears as she kissed the baby then Tony, "I love it."

"Welcome to the family, Zara Tali DiNozzo." Tony beamed.

Ziva leaned into her husband and looked up, "I have never been this happy. Thank you, Tony. I love you."

He kissed her, it wasn't a quick peck on the lips but a searing kiss leaving no room for doubt how he felt about her. This was his family and he would never lose them, never stop fighting for them. Because there was simply nothing else for him but these two gorgeous women and that was that.

* * *

**Author's note: Thank you so very much for taking the time to read my fic. I admit; this was totally indulgent fiction but somewhere, in some verse, Tony and Ziva should be together. Much luv and many hugs to all of you! May our Tiva find a happy ending someday. **


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